Well ain’t that the truth. Well said, Shezza. One minute you’re scaling the scramble-net of promotion, the next you’re descending the slide of motherhood. (Not always, but quite often.)
Your career may not always follow the path you’d envisaged, but actually that’s fine. And in fact, you may find that you’ll end up at an even better destination than you ever imagined possible. We often find ourselves swinging from career rope to career rope. In search of the one true ball pit of happiness…ok, enough of the soft play references now.
My point is, if you’re feeling drawn to a different vocation, there will usually be a reason for that. Positive psychology tells us that we actually gravitate towards activities that allow us to better use our natural talents. It’s therefore likely that this alternative career path would enable you to do something you love and allow you to play to your strengths. If we were all to harness the power of our strengths every day of our lives, the world would be a happier, more productive place.
But jacking it all in for the unknown can be bloody scary. “What if I’m no good? What if no one will want to buy X or use Y service? How on earth will I make it work? Maybe it’s all a pipe dream… “ The best careers and business ideas started out as pipe dreams. The thing that sets aside the dreamers from those that actually make it happen is predominantly confidence. The balls to have a bloody good go.
If you’ve returned to work and feel your heart’s just not in it anymore, coaching can help reconnect you with your passions and your strengths. It can help you pursue your heart’s desire and make your pipe dream come true.
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Or contact me on firstname.lastname@example.org for a free no strings chat to see if coaching could help you shine even brighter.
So I’m very late to the party on this one but I wanted to offer up my #whatidgiveanewmum in support of @amyransomwrites ‘ extraordinary campaign for #maternalMHmatters Awareness Week. This picture was taken minutes after Tabitha, my youngest who incidentally walked today, came out of the sun-roof. I don’t have a comparable shot of my eldest Holly’s arrival, as I was out cold having a cat 1 crash c-section at the time. Not to be recommended.
So here’s what I’d give a new mum.
•No mother has the slightest idea what they’re doing so don’t assume you know less than them. I assure you they’re as much in the dark as you are.
•Take well meant ‘advice’ with a pinch of salt. The chances are that you were born with the maternal instincts perfectly attuned to your baby. Don’t be afraid to trust them.
•Gaze at your new bundle- every inch of them- for as long and often as possible.
•Whatever you do, don’t compare your baby to others their age- you’ll only worry unnecessarily. They will get there in the end. •Write down, or better still record, the hilarious things they say or do. You will be so sure you’ll never forget them. But you will. •Record milestones with a picture or journal entry. I have no recollection of anything the first time round.
•Lower your standards. For your home, your appearance, the washing. At least for the first few months. Allow yourself to just wallow around in the funk of hormonal delirium.
•A lot of people will offer their help. Be good to yourself and accept it once in a while. Some rest will make you a better mum. Never underestimate the power of sleep.
•You will take 1000s of photos. Try to print a few every month or so.
•Set up a WhatsApp group with some local mums or your NCT group. It will be your lifeline. Never underestimate the power of knowing someone else is up at 3am, feeling like you’re feeling.
•Try to get some fresh air every day. Even if it’s just for a walk around the block.
•Get support if and when you decide to return to work. You can never predict how you’ll feel. Having someone to talk things through with, could mean the difference between a happy return and one fraught with self-doubt and anxiety.
What would you add?
I’m buzzing after the 4th coaching session I’ve had with with a seriously talented mum I’ve been working with. She’s back at work after her second mat leave but just not “feeling it” anymore. She describes her job as ‘fine’ and is not content with that.
And good on her for being brave enough to say it how it is. Why settle? Having children throws the whole world into perspective.
After all, how we spend up to 40 hours + of our week needs to count for something more than gas bills and bog roll. Especially if it takes us away from our loved ones.
We have used insights from a powerful psychometric tool called Hogan, to reconnect her with her passions and strengths as well as those traits that might sabotage her success.
Today we started drawing up a list of her ‘utopia’. Her dream job, her dream role, her dream company, her dream culture and colleagues.
It was so exciting to watch her discover that her happy place may well be within reach after all …
This feels like only yesterday. And yet this morning we got the email confirming which school she has been accepted to attend in September. How did this happen, please? I know I’m not alone in feeling torn between the joy and pride of watching your child bloom and grow in front of your eyes and the overwhelming desire to make it all just slow the feck down! This is only further exacerbated by the ever-dwindling amount of time I feel I have to just sit and watch her. Often in awe. That’s what having two small children does to a mother. She got our second choice which I know I should feel lucky about. But I can’t let go of the fact it wasn’t our first choice. You want to give them it all. But you have to face you just can’t sometimes. I have to trust that she will blossom wherever she’s planted.