Last night marked a new parenting milestone for me. My eldest (pictured here last summer, looking like Alice in Wonderland… or maybe Eve in the Garden of Eden?!) really opened up to me about some stuff she’s been struggling with recently. I was tucking her in and we just got chatting. Really chatting. For what felt like the first time in ages, I’m sad to admit.
I have underestimated the importance of timing when asking her about her day, how she’s feeling, if there’s anything’s on her mind I can help her with etc. After a long day at nursery when all she wants is a snack (or 12) and to watch some “tellllaaaaaay” is not the time.
But as many fellow mums of more than one (or even just one) will agree, bedtime is often the time for routine and division of labour across the household. Speed is of the essence. The shared sentiment is usually “how quickly can we get this boxed up so we can relax and have dinner before 10pm?” And as such I don’t tend to luxuriate over this time of the day as much as probably I should. A time when thoughts of the day are settling and eyeball to eyeball chats are cosiest and best.
We are all guilty of getting caught up in what we perceive (at the time) to be the daily drudge, grind and routine. But sometimes we are missing those rare moments when we need to stop, listen and really look into their shining eyes, connect, go slow, and be present. And really try to not constantly feel like we are fast forwarding 15 mins to when we will finally get to eat dinner and watch GoT (although, don’t get me wrong, that is important for living too) As ever, it is all about balance.
