AND RELAX…

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Yesterday was a day of days. After a fairly rubbish journey which meant we all got to bed at 5am the night before, it was welcomed wholeheartedly ?
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This is what contentment looks like for me. A whizz across the Med on my Dad’s boat with my youngest snoozing in my arms. A rare blissful moment. ? ✨
I’ve been working quite hard recently and that combined with looking after two small girls, as any parent will tell you, has caught up with me. ?
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I’ve been coming to this glorious spot since I was 2 so it feels more like home than, well, home does! ? ✨
My husband even proposed here ?
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I felt my shoulders relax and my breath slow as soon as I saw the blue of the sea ? ✨
It’s going to be pretty full on with work when I get back so I’m making the most of some serious time out with my fabulous family. ✨
#feelinggrateful ?

BE FABULOUS. BE YOU. 

At the @girltribegang #powerhour in #Thame on Wednesday night, I talked a lot about USPs and not being afraid to #bigupyourself when it comes to telling your prospective clients, customers, employers – why stop there – the world, why YOU do it better than the other people who also do what you do.

If we can make our own unique strengths combination (USC) work for us, we can turn it into our USP. Tapping into what makes you uniquely you and fabulous can pay huge dividends.

What are you drawn to? What do you love doing? What energises you? What leaves you feeling satisfied and fulfilled? At home or at work.

Whatever it is, identify it and embrace it because the chances are, it’s actually one of your strengths. If you put it work, you will be more likely to strike gold. (Ker-ching)

When we invest ALL our energy in building upon or developing the hell out of a strength, we can expect to see GREAT as opposed to just good results.

Invest the same amount of energy in a weakness or something you’d rather not be doing – I’m sorry to break it to you – but only mediocrity will ever prevail.

So bear that in mind when you sign up for that Excel course you can bothered to attend or that snoresome workshop on GDPR. Think creatively, can you do a skills swap with someone for whom these things are of genuine interest? You’d be surprised – other people will be naturally great at this stuff even if you aren’t.

Recently I was asked to join the ‘panel of experts’ on a great new Facebook group called The Wycombe MumBoss Club, an offshoot of the successful Cheltenham MumBoss Club, brainchild of Kate Starkey. (Expert??- me?! Oh yes, I know some stuff that might be of use to some other people. Somewhere. Back in your box, Imposter Syndrome)

It is day two of their instagram challenge which aims to help people get to know more about its members and their respective businesses. Today’s theme was MOTIVATION. And it got me thinking about what mine was for starting up my coaching and employee engagement business, Shine Brighter.

It turns out that these two small women are my main motivation. For pretty much everything I do, in fact. They’re the reason I went freelance back in 2016. (Well, I was newly pregnant with the small one then but I was planning ahead!)

When I got made redundant from the job I loved in the Spring of 2016 – completely out of the blue- my whole world came crashing down around me. We’d just secured The Sunday Times Best Companies #1 spot for the 2nd year in a row – the absolute highlight of my employee engagement / OD career to date. I had managed to negotiate flexible working after returning from my first maternity leave, I was using my brain again, doing what I loved with a great bunch of people and still managing to see my 2 year old daughter, despite the 3 hour daily commute. Life – so I thought – was sweet.

I was in the early stages of pregnancy and so wouldn’t quite qualify for maternity pay from my old employer and was worried I wouldn’t be able to secure a part-time role for the few months I had left until the baby arrived. I panicked. I had no savings and more or less a statutory redundancy payout, a baby on the way and a 2 year old in nursery. I set up Shine Brighter Consulting and secured my first freelance employee engagement contract the following week. I’m not one to waste time wallowing when crisis hits!

I totally lucked out and had a fabulous first freelance experience working with a brilliant property and asset management business keen to bring their values and ethos to life through their culture and employee comms for 3 months. Then the baby came and my new business got filed on the dusty top shelf next to ‘me time’ and ‘sleep’.

Just under a year later I slowly began to emerge from the funk of ‘new mum of two under three’. Think simultaneous potty training and breast feeding. Only then did I start to think about how I could truly leverage my strengths, experience and skills in such a way that would align with my personal values and help other mothers return to work and have meaningful careers after having children.

I decided to expand my existing consultancy and share my coaching and career development expertise with women who are keen to return to work but don’t have the practical or emotional support that they so desperately need in order to make that transition a smooth one. I still work with companies on their engagement strategies and workplace cultures but this consultancy has taken on a different flavour, if you like. By helping them design comprehensive Return to Work Programmes and through supportive coaching provision, I help them create inclusive and supportive workplace cultures that enable talented parents to return to work with confidence, thrive and be their best. A win win for all concerned.

So as you can probably tell, my motivations for setting up my business are part-personal, part driven by a fire in my belly. Double the impetus, if you like!

I know that I am so lucky to have lots of psychometric tools available to me which have helped me work out what I was meant to do with my life and career. By revisiting my own personal values, unique combination of strengths and work experience, I have been able to build a business around what I love, what lights me up – because I am passionate about it – as well as – although I find this hard to admit in true self-deprecating British style – what I am actually good at.

I fully appreciate that most mothers don’t have the luxury of being a career and performance coach or accredited in self-awareness building psychometric tools! So if you feel that my career or return to work coaching could help you or the women in your organisation, please do get in touch on [email protected]

Sarah Clarke is the founder of Shine Brighter Consulting which provides practical and emotional support to mothers and their employers, ensuring brilliant women can return to work and shine even brighter. We future-proof organisations by helping them create unique and extraordinary workplace cultures where the best people will thrive and grow.

www.shinebrighterconsulting.co.uk

Here are some handy little sketches from @the_parent_mentor for any mums-to-be about to embark on maternity leave.

Handing over and actually ending work are surprisingly challenging transitions in the wonderful journey that is maternity or parental leave.

It’s a time of mixed emotions. Excitement, trepidation, loss of control, fear of the unknown, self-doubt, celebration, joy, freedom, sadness.

I felt them all to differing degrees. Depending on the day!

I worked my waddling backside off on my handover documents, sat down with each member of my team to reassure them that they would be in safe hands while I was away.

If I’m honest, I knew no such thing. No one was appointed to cover my head of department role and I basically felt like I had dropped lots of very shiny, special balls as I walked to the tube on my last day with my lovely bunch of flowers and John Lewis vouchers.

It was terrifying! I was in the dark about what I was about to become (a mother) and equally unsure about what I would come back to when I returned to work.

Employers play a huge part in making their talented parents-to-be feel supported but the onus should not be solely on them.

If we don’t ask for what we need, then they will never know and both parties will ultimately lose out.

I wish I had been more demanding and clearer about what I had needed as I left for maternity leave. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, isn’t it!

What advice would you give to a mum-to-be who is about to go on maternity leave?

Well ain’t that the truth. Well said, Shezza.  One minute you’re scaling the scramble-net of promotion, the next you’re descending the slide of motherhood. (Not always, but quite often.)

Your career may not always follow the path you’d envisaged, but actually that’s fine. And in fact, you may find that you’ll end up at an even better destination than you ever imagined possible. We often find ourselves swinging from career rope to career rope. In search of the one true ball pit of happiness…ok, enough of the soft play references now.

My point is, if you’re feeling drawn to a different vocation, there will usually be a reason for that. Positive psychology tells us that we actually gravitate towards activities that allow us to better use our natural talents. It’s therefore likely that this alternative career path would enable you to do something you love and allow you to play to your strengths. If we were all to harness the power of our strengths every day of our lives, the world would be a happier, more productive place.

But jacking it all in for the unknown can be bloody scary. “What if I’m no good? What if no one will want to buy X or use Y service? How on earth will I make it work? Maybe it’s all a pipe dream… “ The best careers and business ideas started out as pipe dreams. The thing that sets aside the dreamers from those that actually make it happen is predominantly confidence. The balls to have a bloody good go.

If you’ve returned to work and feel your heart’s just not in it anymore, coaching can help reconnect you with your passions and your strengths. It can help you pursue your heart’s desire and make your pipe dream come true.

Click here to find out more.

Or contact me on [email protected] for a free no strings chat to see if coaching could help you shine even brighter. 

 So I’m very late to the party on this one but I wanted to offer up my #whatidgiveanewmum in support of @amyransomwrites ‘ extraordinary campaign for #maternalMHmatters Awareness Week. This picture was taken minutes after Tabitha, my youngest who incidentally walked today, came out of the sun-roof. I don’t have a comparable shot of my eldest Holly’s arrival, as I was out cold having a cat 1 crash c-section at the time. Not to be recommended.

So here’s what I’d give a new mum.

•No mother has the slightest idea what they’re doing so don’t assume you know less than them. I assure you they’re as much in the dark as you are.

•Take well meant ‘advice’ with a pinch of salt. The chances are that you were born with the maternal instincts perfectly attuned  to your baby. Don’t be afraid to trust them.

•Gaze at your new bundle- every inch of them- for as long and often as possible.

•Whatever you do, don’t compare your baby to others their age- you’ll only worry unnecessarily. They will get there in the end. •Write down, or better still record, the hilarious things they say or do. You will be so sure you’ll never forget them. But you will. •Record milestones with a picture or journal entry. I have no recollection of anything the first time round.

•Lower your standards. For your home, your appearance, the washing. At least for the first few months. Allow yourself to just wallow around in the funk of hormonal delirium.

•A lot of people will offer their help. Be good to yourself and accept it once in a while. Some rest will make you a better mum. Never underestimate the power of sleep.

•You will take 1000s of photos. Try to print a few every month or so.

•Set up a WhatsApp group with some local mums or your NCT group. It will be your lifeline. Never underestimate the power of knowing someone else is up at 3am, feeling like you’re feeling.

•Try to get some fresh air every day. Even if it’s just for a walk around the block.

•Get support if and when you decide to return to work. You can never predict how you’ll feel. Having someone to talk things through with, could mean the difference between a happy return and one fraught with self-doubt and anxiety.

What would you add?

This feels like only yesterday.  And yet this morning we got the email confirming which school she has been accepted to attend in September.  How did this happen, please? I know I’m not alone in feeling torn between the joy and pride of watching your child bloom and grow in front of your eyes and the overwhelming desire to make it all just slow the feck down! This is only further exacerbated by the ever-dwindling amount of time I feel I have to just sit and watch her. Often in awe. That’s what having two small children does to a mother. She got our second choice which I know I should feel lucky about. But I can’t let go of the fact it wasn’t our first choice. You want to give them it all. But you have to face you just can’t sometimes. I have to trust that she will blossom wherever she’s planted.